You be the Judge

How do you cope when your biggest critic is in your own head?

It’s all about perspectives.  Different angles, different eyes but whose angle and whose eyes are to be believed?  If you believe someone loves you or let’s not get carried away, likes you, then you’d think that we would give their views on whether ‘your bum looks big in this’ some credibility.  In other words you’d believe them when they say (if they say…) ‘No you look great!’  But if YOU think your bum looks big in whatever it is you have squeezed on then these loved/liked ones’ responses become platitudes that aggravate the situation because you then worry that they are just saying that to make you feel better and you actually feel worse…… Now if someone doesn’t like you and your bum DOES look big then they too are likely to tell you that it doesn’t look big at all – just so you go out wearing the awful unflattering pants that in fact DO make your bum look big.  Then again we all know it’s not the pants but the BUM itself that is the problem usually.  I’m using BUM just as a well recognised example because actually I don’t have a big bum – I have a small bum but big TUM and I HATE my arms….. anyway I digress.  So if the ‘BIG BUM’ perspective has sown its seed in your head then what’s the point asking for another perspective from someone else?  Usually there is no point.  Plus, there are also some people who you would run a mile from asking because their mission is to exacerbate your own self-loathing by agreeing that your (my) TUM does look big and offer advice on a new diet trend or indirectly talk about the benefits of being tee total, eating all meals off a side plate and generally entering a state of complete abstinence.  Are they being kind?  Are they telling you the truth – MAYBE – the truth from their perspective anyway. True or not it doesn’t feel kind.  Tough love? Maybe…

If I am having an ugly day (and they outweigh the ‘hot’ days by a considerable margin) then nothing and nobody will persuade me otherwise.  I am my own judge and I am pretty harsh.  Zero tolerance on the verdict but hopeless at dishing out (and instigating) the punishment (lengthy abstinence of all prandial pleasures…..).  So it’s a lose lose.  I judge myself as a physical failure but wallow in the judgement, often railing against it, rather than taking action to address it.  So enough about me – what about you?

Hello from Me!
Hello from Me!

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